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1、Book3Unit1PersonalityTheMiseryofShynessShynessisthecauseofmuchunhappinessfagreatmanypeople.Allkindsofpeopledescribethemselvesasshy:shttalldullintelligentyoungoldslimoverweight.Shypeopleareanxiousselfconsciousthatistheyar

2、eexcessivelyconcernedwiththeirownappearanceactions.Wrisomethoughtsareconstantlyswirlingintheirminds:WhatkindofimpressionamImakingDotheylikemeDoIsoundstupidImugly.Imwearingunattractiveclothes.Itisobviousthatsuchuncomftabl

3、efeelingsmustaffectpeopleadversely.Apersonsselfconceptisreflectedinthewayheshebehavesthewayapersonbehavesaffectsotherpeoplesreactions.Ingeneralthewaypeoplethinkaboutthemselveshasaprofoundeffectonallareasoftheirlives.Fins

4、tancepeoplewhohaveapositivesenseofselfwthhighselfesteemusuallyactwithconfidence.Becausetheyhaveselfassurancetheydonotneedconstantpraiseencouragementfromotherstofeelgoodaboutthemselves.Selfconfidentpeopleparticipateinlife

5、enthusiasticallyspontaneously.Theyarenotaffectedbywhatothersthinkthey“should“do.Peoplewithhighselfesteemarenothurtbycriticismtheydonotregardcriticismasapersonalattack.Insteadtheyviewacriticismasasuggestionfimprovement.In

6、contrastshypeoplehavinglowselfesteemarelikelytobepassiveeasilyinfluencedbyothers.Theyneedreassurancethattheyaredoing“therightthing“.Shypeopleareverysensitivetocriticismtheyfeelitconfirmstheirinferiity.Theyalsofinditdiffi

7、culttobepleasedbycomplimentsbecausetheybelievetheyareunwthyofpraise.Ashypersonmayrespondtoacomplimentwithastatementlikethisone:“Yourejustsayingthattomakemefeelgood.Iknowitsnottrue.“Itisclearthatwhileselfawarenessisahealt

8、hyqualityoverdoingitisdetrimentalharmful.CanshynessbecompletelyeliminatedatleastreducedFtunatelypeoplecanovercomeshynesswithdeterminedpatientefftinbuildingselfconfidence.Sinceshynessgoeshinhwithlackofselfesteemitisimptan

9、tfpeopletoaccepttheirweaknessesaswellastheirstrengths.Fexamplemostpeoplewouldliketobe“A“studentsineverysubject.Itisnotfairfthemtolabelthemselvesasinferibecausetheyhavedifficultyinsomeareas.Peoplesexpectationsofthemselves

10、mustberealistic.Dwellingontheimpossibleleadstoasenseofinadequacyevenfeelingsofenvyjealousy.Weareselfdestructivewhenweenvyastudentwhogetsbettergrades.Ifyouareshyherearesomespecifichelpfulstepstowardbuildingselfconfidenceo

11、vercomingshyness:1.Recognizeyourpersonalstrengthsweaknesses.Everyonehasboth.AsselfThebabyopenshereyesstaresstraightup.Thefathercallshernameexpectingthatshewillturnherheadlookathim.Hereyesdontmove.4Hepicksupafurrylittleto

12、yattachedtotherailofthecribshakesitringingthebellitcontains.Thebabyseyesdontmove.Hishearthasbeguntobeatrapidly.Hefindshiswifeintheirbedroomtellsherwhatjusthappened.“Shedoesntseemtorespondtonoiseatall“hesays.“Itsasifsheca

13、nthear.““Imsureshesallright“thewifesayspullingherdressinggownaroundher.Togethertheygointothebabysroom.Shecallsthebabysnamejinglesthebellclapsherhs.Thenshepicksupthebabywhoimmediatelybecomeslivelymakeshappysounds.“MyGod“t

14、hefathersays.“Shesdeaf.““Noshesnot“themothersays.“Imeanitstoosoontosayathinglikethat.Lookshesbrnew.Hereyesdontevenfocusyet.““Buttherewasnttheslightestmovementevenwhenyouclappedashardasyoucould.“Themothertakesabookfromthe

15、shelf.“Letsreadwhatsinthebabybook“shesays.Shelooksup“hearing“readsoutloud:“Dontbealarmedifyournewbnfailstobestartledbyloudnoisesfailstoturntowardsound.Reactionstosoundoftentakesometimetodevelop.Yourpediatriciancantestyou

16、rchildshearingneurologically.“There“themothersays.“Doesntthatmakeyoufeelbetter““Notmuch“thefathersays.“Itdoesntevenmentiontheotherpossibilitythatthebabyisdeaf.allIknowisthatmybabydoesnthearathing.Ivegotthewstfeelingabout

17、this.Maybeitsbecausemygrfatherwasdeaf.IfthatbeautifulbabyisdeafitsmyfaultIllneverfgivemyself.““Heywaitaminute“saysthewife.“Yourewryingtoomuch.WellcallthepediatricianfirstthingMonday.Inthemeantimecheerup.Hereholdthebabywh

18、ileIfixherblanket.Itsallpulledout.“Thefathertakesthebabybutgivesherbacktohiswifeassoonashecan.Allweekendhefindshimselfunabletopreparefnextweekswk.Hefollowshiswifearoundthehousethinkingaboutthebabyshearingaboutthewaydeafn

19、esswouldruinherlife.Heimaginesonlythewst:nohearingnodevelopmentoflanguagehisbeautifulchildcutofffromsocietylockedinasoundlesswld.BySundaynighthehassunkintodespair.Themotherleavesamessagewiththepediatriciansansweringservi

20、ceaskingfanearlyappointmentMonday.Shespendstheweekenddoingherexercisesreadingtryingtocalmherhusb.Thepediatricianstestsarereassuringbutthefathersspiritsremainlow.Notuntilaweeklaterwhenthebabyshowsherfirststartletothelouds

21、oundofapassingtruckdoeshebegintorecoverenjoyhisnewdaughteragain.Thisfathermotherhavetwodifferentwaysoflookingatthewld.Wheneversomethingbadhappenstohim—acallfromthebankmanageradisagreementwithhiswifeevenafrownfromhisemplo

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