middle-aged crisis

1、中年危機(jī)也稱“灰色中年”一般高發(fā)在39至50歲的中年人身上。從廣義上來(lái)講“中年危機(jī)”指的是人們?cè)谥心赀@一人生階段在事業(yè)、健康、家庭婚姻等方面可能經(jīng)歷各種關(guān)卡和危機(jī)。大多數(shù)人到了中年都處于“上有老下有小”的生活局面得應(yīng)對(duì)家庭里和事業(yè)上遭遇的各種棘手問(wèn)題壓力實(shí)在不小。下文講述的是美國(guó)女作家勞拉曼森的丈夫遭遇“中年危機(jī)”后他們之間出現(xiàn)的“中年情感危機(jī)”插曲從中可見(jiàn)兩人曲折的心路歷程。值得一提的是在走出“中年危機(jī)”困境之后曼森的丈夫鼓勵(lì)她把他們

2、的故事寫出來(lái)和大家分享于是曼森在《紐約時(shí)報(bào)》上講述了她的這段情感波折……Let’ssay（假想）youhavewhatyoubelievetobeahealthymarriage.You’restillfriendsloversafterspendingmethanhalfofyourlivestogether.Thedreamsyousetouttoachieveinyour20s—gazingintoeachother’seyesi

3、nclelitcitybistros（小咖啡館）whenyouweresingleskinny—havefthemostpartcometrue.Twodecadeslateryouhavethe20acresoflthefarmhousethechildrenthedogshses.You’retheparentsyousaidyouwouldbefullofloveguidance.You’vedoneitall:Disneylca

4、mpingHawaiiMexicocitylivingstargazing.Sureyouhaveyourmaritalissuesbutonthewholeyoufeelsoselfsatisfiedabouthowthingshavewkedoutthatyouwouldneverinyourwildestnightmaresthinkyouwouldhearthesewdsfromyourhusbonefinesummerday:

5、“Idon’tloveyouanyme.I’mnotsureIeverdid.I’mmovingout.Thekidswillunderst.They’llwantmetobehappy.”Hiswdscameatmelikeaspeedingfistlikeasucker（猛擊）punchyetsomehowinthatmomentIwasabletoduck.onceI’drecoveredcomposedmyselfImanage

6、dtosay“Idon’tbuyit.”Hedrewbackinsurprise.Apparentlyhe’dexpectedmetoburstintotearstorageathimtothreatenhimwithacustodybattle.beghimtochangehismind.Soheturnedmean.“Idon’tlikewhatyou’vebecome.”Gutwrenchingpause.Howcouldhesa

7、ysuchathingThatswhenIreallywantedtofight.Torage.Tocry.ButIdidn’t.InsteadashroudofcalmenvelopedmeIrepeatedthosewds:“Idon’tbuyit（=giveup）.”假設(shè)你擁有你認(rèn)為是健康的婚姻:在共度了半生之后你們?nèi)匀皇桥笥鸭皭?ài)人。20多歲時(shí)——那時(shí)你們還單身身段苗條身處點(diǎn)著蠟燭的市區(qū)小餐館的你們凝望著彼此的眼睛——你們要實(shí)現(xiàn)的

8、夢(mèng)想如今大部分都已實(shí)現(xiàn)了。二十年之后你擁有20英畝(80936平方米)土地、農(nóng)舍、孩子小狗及馬匹。你成為了你自己所說(shuō)的那種父母——充滿愛(ài)意、循循善誘。下面這些你都經(jīng)歷過(guò)了:去迪斯尼樂(lè)園、去露營(yíng)、去夏威夷和墨西哥度假、在城市里生活以及眺望星星。當(dāng)然你也有婚姻問(wèn)題但是總體而言對(duì)所有事情的運(yùn)作你還是自我感覺(jué)良好以致就算是在最怪異的噩夢(mèng)中你也不會(huì)想到在某個(gè)晴朗夏日你會(huì)從你丈夫口中聽(tīng)到這些話:“我不再愛(ài)你了。我也不知道我是否曾經(jīng)愛(ài)過(guò)你。我要搬出去

9、。孩子們會(huì)理解的他們也想我過(guò)得快樂(lè)。”Wellhedidn’tmoveout.Insteadhespentthesummerbeingunreliable.Hestoppedcominghomeathisusualsixo’clock.Hewouldstayoutlatenotcall.HeblewoffourentireFourthofJuly—theparadethebarbecuethefirewks—togotosomeonee

10、lse’sparty.Whenhewasathomehewasdistant(冷漠的).Hewouldn’tlookmeintheeye.Hedidn’tevenwishme“HappyBirthday.”ButIdidn’tplayintoit.Iwalkedmyline.Itoldthekids:“Daddy’shavingahardtimeasadultsoftendo.Butwe’reafamilynomatterwhat.”M

11、ytrustedfriendswereirateonmybehalf.“HowcanyoujuststbyacceptthisbehaviKickhimout!Getalawyer!”Iwalkedmylinewiththemtoo.Thismanwashurtingyethisproblemwasn’tminetosolve.InfactIneededtogetoutofhiswaysohecouldsolveit.Privately

12、Idecidedtogivehimtime.Sixmonths.IhadgooddaysIhadbaddays.OnthegooddaysItookthehighroad(積極的，高姿態(tài)生活).Iignedhislashingouthismercilessjabs(猛刺).OnbaddaysIwouldfester(激起憤怒)intheAugustsunwhilethekidsranthroughsprinklersragingathi

13、minmymind.ButIneverwavered.Althoughitmaysoundridiculoustosay“Don’ttakeitpersonally”whenyourhusbtellsyouhenolongerlovesyousometimesthat’sexactlywhatyouhavetodo.噢他沒(méi)有搬出去。相反地他很不負(fù)責(zé)地度過(guò)了那個(gè)夏天。他不再像往常一樣6點(diǎn)回到家。他會(huì)夜歸并且不打電話回家。他推掉了我們七月四