搞笑5人英語劇本

1、搞笑5人英語劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》演員表：西門吹雪葉孤城花滿樓king旁白道具：牛奶兩袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，紙屑若干。第一幕：決戰(zhàn)紫荊城之顛旁白：Aquietvillageiscoveredwithwhitesnow.Birdsaredancinginthecold.Amaniswalkingalongthestreetstepbystep.Windiscominginsilence.Anothermysteriousmanappr

2、oaches.Y與X相遇X：oHIamsrytoknockyou!Y:HahaNevermindbaybay.X:Excuseme，whoareyouonearthcouldyoutellmeyournameY:hahaIwon’tchangemyname!nomatterwhathappens.I’mthemostfamousYeGucheng.WhoareyouX:Iamximenchuixue.Y驚訝:Arximenchuixue

3、X:YeswhatiswrongY:IheardthatyouarethebestingMartialArtsX:Greatyouknowme!Y抱腿：Pleaseplease……Don’tkillme!letmeyougo!X:NoImustkillyou!Y:Idontwanttobekilled.Thereareaeightyyearoldmotheathreeyearoldsontobelookedafterbyme!X:Now

4、ay!Becausewearefightingnow!youknowY突然站起冷冷的說：Dontfceme!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X搶過牛奶:milkverygood!Ilikedrinkingit.howdoyouknowthatY:pleasedrinkit!X喝完牛奶:ThankshahaY:DoyoustillwanttokillmeX:Suremust!milkismilk.Y(惱怒冷酷):Verygood!ve

5、rygood!Ihopeyouwillnotfgetwhatyousaid!X:I’msureIwon’t!Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdontbeatyourthistimeyou’llneverbehaveproperly!3210!X捂著肚子，蹲下：OachOach!X:Howcanyoukillmehaha……Y:Letmehaveatry!3210(X捂著肚子，蹲下)K:thankyouverymuchy

6、ousaveme.NowI’llgiveyoutheticketfAmericantoletyouhaveavacation.Y:That’sgood.butthereisonemething.canyougivemeaMMIwanttogoAmericanwithher.K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme!Hahaha……Y:HahahaH:Where’ssomewher

7、eK:WhatY:Doyouwanttogolady’s“WC”X:YesI……I……do.H頂著搖頭：Xnono，youcan’tgotoLady’s“WC”.Thatisnottheplacewhereyoucangointo!becauseyouareX!youarethebestmanofChinesekongfu!X:whatifI’mthebestinthewd!whyItrymybesttolivebutI’mstills

8、omiserablewhencanIgetmyfreedommustbethedeadday!K:youareright.onewillnotbecleveruntilthedayhedie.Inthatcasewhywillyoudieinsuchabadsrowway!gointotheLady’sWCthendiecomftablly!goahead!H:youstupidbadbehavi!goaway!Kwhywhydoyou

9、helphim!whoacturallyareyouH:myrealnameisLuXiaofengthewifeofX.I’maspy.K驚訝:!youyouYouareLuXiaofengX’wifeY:Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou.atricker!doyouknowyouarethefirstpersonwhocheatedme!becauseofyouIdeeideneverbelieveanyoneel

10、seincludingmyself.youhavedestroyedmylookingfyoufmanyyearsjustftoday!(輕聲說)Ｘwilldiegoseehimplease.H撲倒在Ｘ的身邊：Ｘdo’tdieyoushouldbealivetherearemuchhopeinthefaturetomrowisagoodbeginning!K:whatamovingsty!Iwasimpressed!Y:lifeisap

11、rogressbutitisdepressedthatitcannotresume!H:lifeisaprogressitisdelightthatitneedn’tresume!(H忽然將一把匕首插進Y的心臟，Ｋ嚇跑.音樂《再見，警察》起)Y痛苦狀:don’tleavemehereyouknowIloveyouIhavenothingexceptyounowpleasenotabonme!realizethatI’mwrong.hel

12、pmeIintendtobebackhelpmeIkeyyoubegyouhelpme.I’llneverdothatagain!(Y死，音樂停)（X咳，H撲到身邊，電影《我的父親母親》原聲音樂起）H:Xohnoyoucan’tdiewewillgohometogether.X:gohome!H:Tomrowisanotherday!evenyouhavethelastsecondtoliveyoushouldbealivenotonl

13、yfmebutfourlove!X:doyouwantmelivealifeinsuchasrowwayokokIpromiseIwillbealivefyou.but!youknowIhavenottimeleftbutyouhavepromisethatyouwillbehappyeveryday!Youmustdomethishon...promisemeyouwillsurvive...thatyouwillnevergiveu